Responding to an anonymous letter is not like boxing with a shadow. A shadow is inanimate and inactive. Writing or receiving a letter, whether or not you sign it or it is signed, is still taking an active role. Unless you have ever interacted with a shadow that writes and presents arguments, this situation is not like boxing with a shadow.

Not responding to anonymous letters is a passive response. Not responding is sulking.

Responding to anonymous letters (while I do fault the original accuser for failing to identify her or himself) is proactive and offers some attempt to create a dialog, to address concerns, to present various viewpoints and perspectives. Responding to anonymous letters allows you to empower yourself, even if the person who wrote the letter has decided not to empower him or herself.

Perhaps this person is remaining anonymous because she or he feels threatened or has been emotional or physically attacked recently. Perhaps this author is afraid that she or he will be personally attacked or harassed for writing this letter. There are some instances in which it is acceptable, and in which I would argue, it is best to remain anonymous. Perhaps you have information about a drug lord who has been killing people, wouldn't it be safer for you to report this anonymously? If you are the of the non-dominant gender, race, sexual orientation (or other signifier) it may be unsafe to raise accusations if the person you feel attacked or threatened by has dominance or power over you.

Do I think it is better to sign your letters? YES. Do I think it is better to respond to an anonymous letter rather than do nothing? YES. Do I think it is important to take a proactive role in contributing to a safe environment that encourages and creates dialogs about concerns? Absolutely.

This article posted on Slog, The Stranger Blog, has relevancy to recent events.

It is written by Sarah Ann Lloyd, a fellow nova project aluma.

We should all strive to be a little bit less like Rep. Nancy Elliott from New Hampshire, and a little bit more like LBIP, as discussed in Savage Love this week.

The System of Sexual Assault and Rape.

I haven't often pondered the fact that we define "consent" as a situation when someone has not said no. How alarming.

Consent needs to be defined as a situation where all parties involved enthusiastically and verbally say Yes.

Sometimes it is even difficult for me to say NO.

I consider myself a well-educated, self-confident, feminist, non-heteronormative, queer female. I am rarely afraid to voice my opinion or concern. I don't think that men inherently are more capable, powerful or should automatically have access to or ownership of female bodies.

I embrace my role as a professional in a business-oriented profession. I am not afraid or ashamed to wear short skirts, lipstick, jewelry or sit on the couch, watch my favorite baseball team and shove my face full of nachos and chili. I am do my best to slip through and overstep the categories society typically places someone of my gender and sexual orientation into.

It is STILL difficult for me to say the words: "No. Stop what you are doing," in situations where I feel physically, emotionally or sexually uncomfortable. Despite my efforts to move past what are my socially constructed (and reinforced) "normative" behaviors, I have had (before I entered a monogamous relationship with a female), trouble using direct language to prevent unwanted sexual advances or to stop unwanted sexual activity. In situations with unwanted sexual advances, I often found myself acting coy, unoffensive and dismissive--trying to stop the unwanted behavior without being "rude" or "bitchy." (Maybe this is because I often found myself in situations like this with friends and peers whom I respected or enjoyed spending time with).

I know that I am not alone. Many of my closest female friends, who are also well-education, self-empowered feminists, have also had trouble saying the simple two letter word "no." I can only begin to imagine how difficult it may be for women who are less self-confidant or feel and even greater need to conform to "normative" female gender roles.

We need to talk about this more often.

Here is a great article: On the Difficulty of "Saying No"

Please consider this marvelous, honest and gut-wrenching perspective on sexual assault and rape.

Rape Analogy: The "Walking in a Bad Neighborhood" Theory