Maurice McDavid

Responding to an anonymous letter is not like boxing with a shadow. A shadow is inanimate and inactive. Writing or receiving a letter, whether or not you sign it or it is signed, is still taking an active role. Unless you have ever interacted with a shadow that writes and presents arguments, this situation is not like boxing with a shadow.

Not responding to anonymous letters is a passive response. Not responding is sulking.

Responding to anonymous letters (while I do fault the original accuser for failing to identify her or himself) is proactive and offers some attempt to create a dialog, to address concerns, to present various viewpoints and perspectives. Responding to anonymous letters allows you to empower yourself, even if the person who wrote the letter has decided not to empower him or herself.

Perhaps this person is remaining anonymous because she or he feels threatened or has been emotional or physically attacked recently. Perhaps this author is afraid that she or he will be personally attacked or harassed for writing this letter. There are some instances in which it is acceptable, and in which I would argue, it is best to remain anonymous. Perhaps you have information about a drug lord who has been killing people, wouldn't it be safer for you to report this anonymously? If you are the of the non-dominant gender, race, sexual orientation (or other signifier) it may be unsafe to raise accusations if the person you feel attacked or threatened by has dominance or power over you.

Do I think it is better to sign your letters? YES. Do I think it is better to respond to an anonymous letter rather than do nothing? YES. Do I think it is important to take a proactive role in contributing to a safe environment that encourages and creates dialogs about concerns? Absolutely.

This article posted on Slog, The Stranger Blog, has relevancy to recent events.

It is written by Sarah Ann Lloyd, a fellow nova project aluma.

We should all strive to be a little bit less like Rep. Nancy Elliott from New Hampshire, and a little bit more like LBIP, as discussed in Savage Love this week.

The System of Sexual Assault and Rape.

I haven't often pondered the fact that we define "consent" as a situation when someone has not said no. How alarming.

Consent needs to be defined as a situation where all parties involved enthusiastically and verbally say Yes.

Sometimes it is even difficult for me to say NO.

I consider myself a well-educated, self-confident, feminist, non-heteronormative, queer female. I am rarely afraid to voice my opinion or concern. I don't think that men inherently are more capable, powerful or should automatically have access to or ownership of female bodies.

I embrace my role as a professional in a business-oriented profession. I am not afraid or ashamed to wear short skirts, lipstick, jewelry or sit on the couch, watch my favorite baseball team and shove my face full of nachos and chili. I am do my best to slip through and overstep the categories society typically places someone of my gender and sexual orientation into.

It is STILL difficult for me to say the words: "No. Stop what you are doing," in situations where I feel physically, emotionally or sexually uncomfortable. Despite my efforts to move past what are my socially constructed (and reinforced) "normative" behaviors, I have had (before I entered a monogamous relationship with a female), trouble using direct language to prevent unwanted sexual advances or to stop unwanted sexual activity. In situations with unwanted sexual advances, I often found myself acting coy, unoffensive and dismissive--trying to stop the unwanted behavior without being "rude" or "bitchy." (Maybe this is because I often found myself in situations like this with friends and peers whom I respected or enjoyed spending time with).

I know that I am not alone. Many of my closest female friends, who are also well-education, self-empowered feminists, have also had trouble saying the simple two letter word "no." I can only begin to imagine how difficult it may be for women who are less self-confidant or feel and even greater need to conform to "normative" female gender roles.

We need to talk about this more often.

Here is a great article: On the Difficulty of "Saying No"

Please consider this marvelous, honest and gut-wrenching perspective on sexual assault and rape.

Rape Analogy: The "Walking in a Bad Neighborhood" Theory

If I were in New York, I would be looking forward to the William Kentridge show.

Here is a list of things I am looking forward to in the next two months.

- Great Bowls of Soup with Jennifer
- Tegan and Sara Concert


There are only two things on this list. And Great Bowls of Soup is tonight.

Note to self: don't get very very little sleep then go to work early in the morning.


I am not healthy right now (sleep and nourishment wise).

I'm my own toughest critic.

I've always thought this saying was silly, but it really really applies to me.

Tea Party?

What is the role and/or purpose of for-profit institutions of learning?

Would you use your toothbrush for this?

I am in great anticipation for tonight's prime Olympic programming. Lysacek, Plushenko, Takahashi and women's snowboard halfpipe!

This is by far my favorite Olympics Games I've ever watched. So many breathtaking athletes! I wish I had seen halfpipe in person!!!!

Sometimes when I see people make history while watching the Olympics, I feel like I am part of something so much bigger than myself. How silly.

Reeeeeady.

Why do they say it so oddly at the start of a speed skating race?

I am trying to imagine what it would be like to be the owner of my very own, private halfpipe so I could prepare to snowboard in the Olympics.

I vow to get my work done.

In order for this to not be an empty promise, I need to actually do things.


How can one expect me to do things while the 2010 Winter Olympics are in action?


Does every one realize how soon March 7th is? Because I didn't until today.

There are so many things I am not good at. No matter how many great things I have accomplished in the last four years, I have had immensely disappointing failures.

I want to be connected in the way only one with one inside can be connect to one another.

It is so overwhelming to have 63 new emails, but so gratifying when that number decreases as I reply to emails.

I think in May, I will have a big celebration.

See, the internet is such that when you post something on it, other people can see it. Sometimes you want certain people to see that which you posted, but you do not want other people to see that which you posted. Sometimes, because of this danger, you post cryptically. Sometimes that which you post is too cryptic, sometimes too easily interpreted.

Can someone explain this urge that I have to post that which should not be posted on the internet?


Tasha, you know exactly what I am talking about.

I am going to make
things of honey and sugar.


That is not a metaphorical poem. That is a statement about actions I plan to take soon.

I guess there are some people that decide to say good-bye and never again say hello.

Today's column of Savage Love seems particularly pertinent to conversations I have recently had.

Don't pretend you are pleasing me when you are pleasing yourself.
Don't pretend that the things you feel and do (or do not do) are the things that I feel and I do.


How dare you say things about your innards as if they are my innards.

This sensation is so big that it does not fit inside of me alone.

It's like when you have a dream and someone protects you, then you wake up and love that person in the flesh.

I feel like today I don't want to be inside of this skin I am in.

Sometimes rib cages get in the way.

Today I ordered cheese cloth, citric acid and vegetarian rennet so that I can attempt to make homemade mozzarella.

Maybe it will be delicious, maybe it will not be.

Some people do things and make decisions that bother me.

I enjoyed very much the food ate and the company I kept last night.

I am looking forward to basketball games in Memorial Gym this night.

When I have stacks of letters to sign I feel important.

I am delighted that tomorrow is Ground Hog's Day! I used to really love celebrating this holiday in school when I was a young child.

I plan to make vegetarian mozzarella cheese from scratch. How many people know that cheese is typically made with meat products?

There are some people that I see nearly ever day (read: Brandy, Tasha and Dee). If I go two days or more without seeing these people, everything starts to go fuzzy.

I am looking forward to roasting grape tomatoes with Tasha.


I want to make mozzarella with Josh this week--that is my plan. Don't you think the idea of making fresh mozzarella by hand is divine?

There has been nothing to blog about in my life for the last few days.