Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Sometimes it is even difficult for me to say NO.

I consider myself a well-educated, self-confident, feminist, non-heteronormative, queer female. I am rarely afraid to voice my opinion or concern. I don't think that men inherently are more capable, powerful or should automatically have access to or ownership of female bodies.

I embrace my role as a professional in a business-oriented profession. I am not afraid or ashamed to wear short skirts, lipstick, jewelry or sit on the couch, watch my favorite baseball team and shove my face full of nachos and chili. I am do my best to slip through and overstep the categories society typically places someone of my gender and sexual orientation into.

It is STILL difficult for me to say the words: "No. Stop what you are doing," in situations where I feel physically, emotionally or sexually uncomfortable. Despite my efforts to move past what are my socially constructed (and reinforced) "normative" behaviors, I have had (before I entered a monogamous relationship with a female), trouble using direct language to prevent unwanted sexual advances or to stop unwanted sexual activity. In situations with unwanted sexual advances, I often found myself acting coy, unoffensive and dismissive--trying to stop the unwanted behavior without being "rude" or "bitchy." (Maybe this is because I often found myself in situations like this with friends and peers whom I respected or enjoyed spending time with).

I know that I am not alone. Many of my closest female friends, who are also well-education, self-empowered feminists, have also had trouble saying the simple two letter word "no." I can only begin to imagine how difficult it may be for women who are less self-confidant or feel and even greater need to conform to "normative" female gender roles.

We need to talk about this more often.

Here is a great article: On the Difficulty of "Saying No"

No comments:

Post a Comment